That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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