Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
