Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
