So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
