I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
