Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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