if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
