Pappa wants mamma naked
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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