Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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