You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
