Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
