Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
