Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
