i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
