i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Vodka?
Forever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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