three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
