He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
