no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
