that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize