sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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