wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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