I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
