is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
