It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
