Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
