Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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