Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am puke
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize