Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
