I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
