I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
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This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
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Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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