i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
