guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So squirting runs in the family.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
