Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
