Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
barbara walters just said penis...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize