There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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