I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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