my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The uberlube is also flammable
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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