Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
