I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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