Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
