You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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