I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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