I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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