Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

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(214): View more from Texas

LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.

(972): View more from Texas

I worry about you sometimes...

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"

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(315): View more from New York

careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....

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(802): View more from Vermont

Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.

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(925): View more from California

Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause

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(971): View more from Oregon

I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.

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