I smell stomach acid.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
