Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
