His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
