hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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