My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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