There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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