walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
