So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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