with your own penis?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
