I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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