How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
