I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
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we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
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I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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