chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i dont even know how to be here
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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