Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
