yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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