whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
