drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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