You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
pray to the hookup gods
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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