i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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