I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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