Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
