I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize