Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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